...is spiced up with pink and green!

Everything in the middle of the letters L-I-F-E can be as vague as the glass that was just filled with cold water or can be as transparent the time you wipe the glass with your fingers. Either way, a lot of people give everything to understand it; but only a few does. I may have not experienced everything there is to experience nor have learned everything there is to learn, but I am certain that from where I stand... LIFE is beautiful!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

the man every girl needs

Every girl needs a man:
  • the kind that will treat you right as well as others;
  • the kind that has enough respect for himself, family and others;
  • the one that will change for you to just be with you;
  • the kind that searches for you with his heart;
  • the kind that can be trusted alone with a room full of many other beautiful ladies;
  • the kind that won't cheat on you because he knows he's got all he wants and needs already;
  • the kind that's willing to be your friend and lover;
  • the kind that doesn't mind calling you early in the morning to say good morning and late at night to say good night, maybe even sing you a good morning and tell you a good night story or talk to you until you fall asleep;
  • the kind that will do anything for you, even if it's just to buy your favorite kind of candy;
  • the kind that will defend and fight for you;
  • the kind that won't ditch you for his friends when you need him the most;
  • the kind that won't leave you lonely and wondering;
  • the ones that call you surprisingly, even if he's with his friends, just to tell you that he loves you and misses you a lot;
  • the kind that isn't afraid to smile to his friends every time you're around and tells them, "She's the one.";
  • the kind that appreciates you for the things you do for him, even if they're little;
  • the kind that actually thanks you for the little love notes you leave him;
  • the kind that is willing to wait for you when you're falling behind;
  • the kind that will actually open the door for you, take you out on dates once in a while and buy you flowers cause its a Wednesday;
  • the kind that notices your hair when you just got it cut or done beautifully for him;
  • the kind that reminds you that he loves you and that he's happy with you in case you forget;
  • the kind that just doesn't want kisses and hugs but to actually be loved and to love;
  • the kind that calls you "beautiful" instead of "hot";
  • the kind that kisses your forehead when you're down;
  • the kind that tells you to be strong and not to cry;
  • the kind that will go through thick and thin with and for you;
  • the kind that just loves you for who you are.
That kind of man, that's the kind you keep.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

FALLing for purple

So yes, the temperature is taking a sit, and it gets lower and lower. But it doesn't mean style and trend has to sit beside it too. C'mon! Let's get out and show how hot fashion gets in this oh-so-getting-cold season. And what's hot?! I bet you get that. Drum roll please!!!! Stand up....


PURPLE!!!


Yeah, who will not fall in love to the warmth this color gives? The classy hue is a must-have in every girl's closet.


That Ella Moss Lavendar Lurex Tunic is modestly sexy that enhances the woman within. With its empire waistline and a pleating down center front compliments the horizontal stripes that makes the body thinner. Its loose f
itting bodice is really good to be on the top of a very comfortable dark jeans.


Nine West never fails to provide every woman's outfit sophistication that is totally off the hook. This ruched ankle boot with almond toe? Wow. This calls for another swipe session.


And who has enough cardigan that would not even think of having this lightweight open-front cardigan with ruched empire seam at sides and around back for a softly flared hem by Ann Taylor LOFT. The extended collar for draped effect gives it extra fabulous points.


Dress is big this season! Diane von Furstenberg definitely understands style in all the rage. This V neckline long sleeves dress with flap pockets and tonal tie at natural waist is hundred percent fantabulous!




This Women's Mossimo® Darby Ombre Peep-Toe Pumps is just deliciously stylish. Very casual that it can be worn on comforts. Cinderella's slipper is nothing compared to this. Seriously.


A walk in the park this fall is not complete without this hoodie baby. Go and grab this cable sweater hoodie with button placket and make your day.


The classic lady dress blazes the trail in captivating jewel-toned hues and sumptuous silk will give you a trail of "wow!". Sometimes, they just can't help but stare. This silk cap-sleeve lady dress is from Banana Republic.


A deep purple Kelsey Belted Peacoat W/ ThinsulateLow gives justice to the word "posh". The elegant color is to die for. This waist belted coat with button pocket flaps and button tab at sleeve hem faltters just any body size.

A double-breasted silhouette gets a sophisticated update with sleek feminine styling, made distinctive with hallmark tailoring. With a college purple hue, you just can't say no! Ralph Lauren indeed got it all.


Don't forget to accessorize!!!

See? I told you. This royalty color is fitted on its throne this fall.

Available: Love Analgesic and Love Anesthesia?

(When love struck. I wrote this a couple of years ago.)

Vulnerable of nothing but pain, everything in me was exposed to fall apart—without hesitation, I just let it happen. I decided to let it happen—all for love, the only thing that makes me the strongest in my weakness. I have entrusted this vulnerability only to the worthy hands of a commendable soul to whom my forever is destined to be spent with. I trusted like all men can never be trusted except him. I believed as if no man has ever spoken the truth until I heard him talk. I loved so truly more than what love really means.

But love is as rude as how sweet it could be. It will let you fall as low as you can hardly gain up the strength to stand. It will cloud your eyes with too much confusion that you can nearly lose grip of the faint hope you have in finding your right way back. It can strike straight to your heart with unimaginably excruciating pain. And when that happens, it will seem to be all those wonderful memories will tumble down into enormous pieces making it impossible for you to remember or even figure out. All that is left is hurt. Agony will seem to last forever. Misery becomes your air. Trust has blurred its definition. Yes, and it will be even worst as it could ever be.

I have nothing against love or its principle. I have grasped its real essence as it worked tremendously in my life. I know that when I fall, even if it felt like I’m losing strength, I am certain that I am actually gaining it. Even when I am clouded with confusion, rest assured love will never let me wander in the midst of nowhere; it will only let me see things in a different and better perspective. As I love more, I am able to learn of myself deeper.

But I just wonder, in the advancement of technology the world has known a cure for the slightest to the most fatal pain. We have paracetamol or mefenamic acid for toothache or slight headache. Nitroglycerine is available for chest pain. There is morphine sulfate for the crushing pain myocardial infarction causes. Demerol is used for the excruciating pain of pancreatitis. But why is there no pain reliever for those who got there heart broken? Even a crack can cause a person to rate the pain caused by the most-wanted thing on earth, Love, 20 out of 5. Hilarious to those who did not experience but I do not think there is one person who will be extremely lucky not to experience it.

There would also be a point in loving someone wherein all you can wish is to be numb, to not experience the pain even in the beginning. Sometimes it would be better not to know, not to care. You will wish to escape from reality even for 5 minutes. You might think that you can never handle things. Love anesthesia will surely be of great use if ever.

Not everyone has painful diseases that require analgesia nor everyone undergoes surgery that needs anesthesia. But I think everyone experienced and will experience the pain love can cause. Hence, don’t you think that love analgesic and love anesthesia is more useful than lithium, morphine sulfate, lidocaine, demerol and the like? And if this will be sold in the pharmacy, can you imagine how the owner can get richer than Bill Gates in just a day? That would not be impossible considering the fact that all people love.

But with what happened to me, love has been so nice in teaching me eternal lessons. And with that, even if there is love analgesic and love anesthesia sold, I don’t think I’ll purchase one. Yes, it hurts. It does. In fact, so much. But why opt for an analgesic or anesthesia that will only mask the pain? It will not help me figure out what’s wrong. In that case, it will never be cured then. The pain in some magnificent way can be eradicated but the underlying cause can never be identified. And if we really look at things deeply, it has a cure. And it made me so happy that technology did not invent love analgesic and love anesthesia. I am so glad love showed me the cure. That is to love even more.

KISSING DATING GOODBYE: The Kiss That Totally Changed My Life

I’ve been hearing and reading about this book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, way back the early years of my teenage life, but not quite interested in checking it out. I perceived the title so untimely for my stage. Well, who on earth, at this tender age, be ever eager to kiss dating goodbye when he or she haven’t even experienced it in the first place? Maybe some no-way-to-marriage freaks will. But definitely, not me. And I mean a big N-O for that. It seemed to me an impossible statement—too impossible even to read.

“I Kissed Dating Goodbye” appeared to me like an old-fashioned woman campaigning to stop dating and persuading us to go in for marriage. I used to think that saying goodbye to dating meant saying hello to marriage—that’s a pretty serious stuff that, I thought, should only be dealt by grown-ups.

You can’t blame me for that impression, can you? Given the fact that I’m still fourteen that time, I suppose that makes sense. Honestly, at first, I thought to myself, Hey! I’m not prepared to get married…After all, I’m too young! Little did I know that this book was really for me. This is about that and everything about that, just everything every single Christian should know and should live. And this drew me to an overwhelming conclusion: "Don’t judge a book by its TITLE"

Friday, September 12, 2008

prayer in the square

(me and my brother)

There is this big lump of enthusiasm in my heart to share to you on what God is doing here in the city that never sleeps. Evidently, New York City has everything the WORLD has to offer. Yes it is wicked. As a matter of fact, the first time I set foot on Manhattan (just as I got out of the subway) there was a billboard that caught my attention that says: "Life is short. Have an affair in New York. (With a picture of a woman that looks like the one the book of Proverbs warn men about)"

Shoot! Right in the heart of the city, sin is encouraged. That is NY. People seem to be too busy to know God--or even notice God. The way people act, you could say they have no idea about eternity.


But no matter how abhorrent the reality is in here, this can't keep God from doing mighty works. And in these last days, He is manifesting His power through His people--people who are burning with passion to make God's name known; people who are willing to be used by God that no single soul will go to hell without hearing what Jesus has done; and people who know very well that they got nothing but Jesus. These people gathered together for an hour believing that one hour of prayer can change the world.

Last September 7, 2008, approximately 50,000 people representing 170 denominations within and outside the state (even outside the country) came together to pray along the streets of Times Square, Manhattan. Hence called PRAYER IN THE SQUARE.


Christians went out of their roofs and gather under one banner, the banner of Jesus Christ. This one hour surely echoes to eternity.


I just can't believe that this is really happening. That is because America, I thought, has turned her back from God. But it is such a great wonder that even the mayor proclaimed the date recognizing it as an important event. Wow! When God moves, every impossibility will just turn into solid steps taking His purpose higher. What an amazing God we are serving!


Let us keep on praying.

plainly from a girl's heart

This is quite related to my recent post that was from a guy I know. But as I dug in to my so once upon a time files, I found this. I never thought I have profoundly vented what 's inside a girl's heart. Just read it. Gentlemen, this is primarily for you. =)

Y Even if she yells at you, even if you yell at her always SHOW UP. Don’t ever forget to show up.

Y Always give her the reason to hold on to. Love her daily.

Y Five minutes can be forever to her.

Y REMEMBER: You can lose her no matter how much you love her, and how much she loves you.

Y If you argue, do not let it stay unsettled for the next 2 hours. It’s really NOW or NEVER.

Y All girls love surprises no matter how they deny it. Simple acts that can make her smile are really sweet.

Y Never talk about your friends to her TOO OFTEN.

Y Inform her where you are and what you are doing. That just defines the word concern. She will appreciate it. It makes her worried if you don’t.

Y Show her that you value your family more than your friends.

Y Do well in your work or school. It shows you are serious in building a good future for her.

Y Tell her your future plans.

Y Reply in her text messages no matter how rude she was.

Y When she tells you word that can hurts you, just tell her “I love you” and hug her. That would change the story. Sometimes, that is what she just wanted.

Y When you meet, always smile. Tell her how happy you’re with her.

Y Always tell her.

Y Do what you say you will. If you’re not sure, better not say it.

Y Never lie to her, and always tell her the truth. Those two are different.

Y When she’s mad, just hold her hand. Don’t get mad in return.

Y Say sorry once. And mean it. Don’t do the same mistake again.

Y Fight for her. Never let her go. It hurts when somebody is letting you go. Make her stay.

Y Let her feel your presence even if you’re far. And when you have time, even for 1 minute, be with her.

Y Appreciate her always.

Y When she says “leave” just stay. If you will, come back.

Y It’s okay to have your guy friends with you at lunch, but at least ask her if it’s okay. Maybe she wants both of you to be alone.

Y When you’re mad at her, just let her explain. Take your time. But don’t forget how you love her.

Y When she doesn’t like the movie, don’t whine. Talk to her about anything. It’s really not about the movie. It’s all about your time together.

Y Decide for the both of you. Forget about the word “Ikaw” (or in English, "you?")

Y Sometimes, it’s okay to insist… Insist that you don’t want to lose her… Insist that you’ll do your best to make it better… insist to make her stay.

This is insane. I just figured out just now that the previous post was really based on what I wrote. Yeah, I gave this to him. I hoped a lot of people learned.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

how to relate and understand a girl

This is from someone who spent countless time with a girl he love(d), someone who tried to simplify the complexities of a girl, someone who quite realized how to make a girl smile, and someone who, maybe, wants to make things better.

1. Always SHOW UP even if you get in a fight. Don't ever forget to show up.
2. Love her daily. Always show her how much you respect and love her.
3. Never ever LIE and make excuses.
4. Even if she comes two hours late, NEVER let her see that you are pissed off instead smile at her and forget that she's late.
5. If she asks you to stay for 5 mins or so, never ever complain but always give her the time.
6. Do not let a day pass by for you to settle any argument or misunderstanding.
7. When she is upset, never ever argue with her instead find ways to cheer her up rather than get upset along with her.
8. Girls love surprises. So surprise her often. Even a simple note could brighten up her day.
9. Never talk about your friends too often when you are with her.
10. Always find time to inform her where you are and who you are with.
11. Show her that you prioritize your family over your friends.
12. Perform well in school or in your career. Do the best you can because it would give her a notion that you are serious about your future.
13. Share with her your future plans.
14. If she hurts you and she's having a bad day, hug her and gently whisper in her ear "I love you".
15. Always smile when you are with her and constantly remind her that you are happy with her.
16. Mean what you say and say what you mean.
17. Don't ever get mad in return.
18. When you say sorry better mean it and never do the same mistake again.
19. Let her feel you are always there and just BE WITH HER.
20. Appreciate her always.
21. When she wants you to leave just STAY.
22. If you have to choose between your friends and her during breaktime, be with her.
23. When you are mad, explain and tell her you love her.
24. When watching movies, never cry when you don't like the movie, do not pretend either but talk to her. It's not the move that counts, it's your time together.
25. Decide for the both of you. Lay down the options but never ever let her be the one to decide for both of you.
26. Insist when you think that you're losing her.
27. Always be a gentleman, open the door for her.
28. When she's bored , find an activity or a game that involves your interaction.
29. If her body aches, massage her hand, head and back.
30. If she's tired, offer you shoulder for her to lean to.
31. Always find ways to bless her.

Lastly, if she's falling out of love, MAKE HER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN...
* And if you lost her, give her time and space but always make her feel that you are still around and that you still love her..then WIN HER BACK and make sure it is for real because you don't want the same thing to happen again..if she doesn't want you back, just PRAY and hope that maybe one day in God's time, you might end up together again...NEVER LOSE HOPE BUT NEVER EXPECT TOO MUCH.. :)

Reading this made me smile. That is because in between the lines, I can clearly see my name. Though there are some ideas that are too much, still I find it sweet. But actually, girls aren't supposed to be understood. Girls like me are to be loved.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

compilation of quotes on the subject "WOMAN"

"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman. "
-- Margaret Thatcher

"As a woman I have no country. As a woman my country is the whole world."
-- Virginia Woolf

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, 'She doesn't have what it takes.' They will say, 'Women don't have what it takes.'"
-- Clare Boothe Luce

"I feel there is something unexplored about a woman that only a woman can explore. "
-- Georgia O'Keeffe

"Life on the planet is born of woman. "
-- Adrienne Rich

"Women are like tea bags; put them in hot water and they get stronger. "
-- Eleanor Roosevelt

"God made man, and then he said 'I can do better than that' and made women. "
-- Adela Rogers St. Johns

"I think, therefore I'm single."
-- Liz Winstead

"Women like silent men. They think they're listening."
--Marcel Archard

"Women love the lie that saves their pride, but never an unflattering truth."
-- Gertrude Atherton

"Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone."
-- Lenny Bruce

"Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both."
-- Samuel Butler

"What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman."
-- Lord Byron

"The happiest women, like the happiest nations, have no history."
-- George Eliot

"When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment."
--Warren Farrell

"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends."
-- Benjamin Franklin

"The great question ~ which I have not been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is `What does a woman want?'"
-- Sigmund Freud

"There is nothing so wrong in this world that a sensible woman can't set it right in the course of an afternoon."
-- Giraudoux

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. "
-- Oliver Herford

"Man has will, but woman has her way. "
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. "
-- Edgar Watson Howe

"A woman's whole life is a history of the affections."
-- Washington Irving

"Men, their rights, and nothing more; women, their rights, and nothing less."
-- Susan B. Anthony & Elizabeth Cady Stanton (motto of The Revolution newspaper)

"Sentences that begin with "all women" are never, never true."
-- Margaret Culkin Banning

"One is not born a woman, one becomes one. "
-- Simone de Beauvoir

"In every girl is a goddess. "
-- Francesca Lia Block

"Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden. "
-- Erma Bombeck

"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country."
-- Elayne Boosler

"Let Greeks be Greeks, and women what they are. "
-- Anne Bradstreet

"I never expect men to give us liberty. No, women, we are not worth it until we take it."
-- Voltairine de Cleyre

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood."
-- Marie Curie

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
-- Irina Dunn

"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them."
-- Sue Grafton

"A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't."
-- Rhonda Hansome

"A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous"
-- Coco Chanel

"Beauty and truth of a girl, though hardly found, are worthy to be sought"
-- George Buchanan

"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece."
-- Author Unknown

"Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away."
-- Laurence J. Peter

"The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
-- Author Unknown

"A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon."
-- Arnold Haultain

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women."
-- Nicole Hollander<
"Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument."
-- Author Unknown

"The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself."
-- Elizabeth Metcalf

"A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction."
-- Oscar Wilde

"Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one."
-- W.C. Fields

"Women really do rule the world. They just haven't figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we're all in big big trouble."
-- Doctor Leon

"Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly."
-- Sam Slick<(Thomas Chandler Haliburton)
"They may talk of a comet, or a burning mountain, or some such bagatelle; but to me a modest woman, dressed out in all her finery, is the most tremendous object of the whole creation."
-- Oliver Goldsmith

"It upsets women to be, or not to be, stared at hungrily."
-- Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
-- Aristotle Onassis

"Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women."
-- Elsa Schiaparelli

"It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman."
-- Alexandre Dumas

"A woman should soften but not weaken a man."
-- Sigmund Freud

"No woman wants to see herself too clearly."
-- Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

"A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery."
-- Diana Stürm<
"The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is."
-- Helen Rowland

"I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason."
-- Stanley Baldwin

"Men look at themselves in mirrors. Women look for themselves."
-- Elissa Melamed

"After about 20 years of marriage, I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate."
-- Mel Gibson, about what women want

"Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular."
-- E.V. Lucas

"There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature."
-- Stephen Stills

"A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful."
-- Karl Kraus

"Once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her."
-- John Vanbrugh, The Relapse, 1696

"Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak."
-- William Shakespeare, As You Like It

"To get to a woman's heart, a man must first use his own."
-- Mike Dobbertin, quoted in A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul

"Women speak two languages - one of which is verbal."
-- William Shakespeare

"Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more."
-- James Thurber

"I hate women because they always know where things are."
-- Voltaire

"Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember."
-- Author Unknown

"No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not."
-- H.L. Mencken

"Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men."
-- Joseph Conrad

"There are no ugly woman, only lazy ones."
-- Helena Rubinstein

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

The Gift

Picture yourself minutes after placing the big star on the top of the Christmas tree. Your eyes behold the glory of that perfect, dark green tree that compliments the brightness of the glittery snowballs that surround it. The air is still the same air you are comfortable of breathing in except of the scent the coming holidays bring. But the lights around your house is nothing compared to how your eyes lit when your mom carried the big gift wrapped in a fancy wrapper with a tag where your name was written under the title "for Christmas". Your name is just surprisingly clearer than it should have been. Excitement looms in the deepest corner of your heart. Everything within you just can't wait to see what's inside the fancy wrapper. You don't know what is in there but you are certain that it will make you happy. Perfect, you say.

Perfect indeed. But there is this teeny-weeny detail that you failed to see--or just ignored to see. It is printed in red. Bold letters. It says: "for Christmas". But you just can't notice it when all you have to see is the big present that is just placed by your mom under the Christmas tree. And you can't take your eyes off it. You can't even afford to steal away a precious minute from the joy of imagining what would be inside it just to take a peek at the calender and take grip of the reality--the reality that December 25 is still 24 days away.

Curiosity is taking hold of you. And you are taking hold of the gift. Shaking it. Listening to what it could be. A hard thing. A heavy one. By the way it looks, you know it's special. And by the way it sounds, you know it's extraordinary. Yes, you could just say it even without knowing what actually is inside. Pictures of the things you wanted--everything good you wanted--flooded your mind. But hey, your mom called out your name and says, "Wait for Christmas." In as much as you would like to ignore her voice, you convinced yourself to do so. Somehow you did.

Days pass by and every time you come inside your house you see it. You see it like there is no other thing to see. You see it like as if it's shouting your name telling you, "Open me!" Once. Just once, you listen. You come closer and pick it up. You shake it again. But it is not enough anymore. You have to see even just the carton. Oh well, just the carton. Maybe it will give a clue. Not the real gift anyway. Just a clue. To satisfy you. So you slowly and carefully (veeeeery carefully) take off the scotch tape with an intent to return it later. Just one scotch tape. And you successfully did. You see that the carton is corrugated and has a yellow color. Again, pictures flew inside your mind. This time, they are quite different than before. Better. Grander. And more tempting to dig deeper, to find out more. But you stopped. realizing that maybe you could wait a little longer. You return the scotch tape. No one would notice that you tried to open it. No harm done, you said.

Few days pass and then, you catch yourself off guard. You are again standing face to face with that gift. Oh the fancy colors never fail to catch your attention. You say to yourself that you did it once, so maybe twice won't hurt.

Twice.

Then thrice.

You did it.

Again.

And again.

And again.

And things do not happen the way you planned it. Because in every attempt to savor the gift, you open it bigger than before. But you have not noticed. You couldn't care less.

December 21. The last thing you remember is you are holding the gift, all torn from the behind, and reading the title of the book that lays behind the wrapper. The book you have wanted all your life. You are so happy. In fact, happy won't give justice to what you are feeling. It is an understatement. But for the sake of having a term, yes, you are happy. Extremely happy. You are just so excited that you put all the care you have in making the gift like brand new. You fixed it and placed it heedfully under the tree. You turned away like as if nothing happened.

The night came when your family gather around the tree. Yes, Christmas came. You are singing songs of merriment like no one's listening. You dance with your dad while your brother is dancing pretending he is dancing with Jessica Alba. Your mom laughs boisterously as your sister puts on the Santa's beard. There is no room for sorrow now, not even regret. Absolutely not regret.

Your mom took the gifts placed under the tree. She handed one to your dad. Of course they shared a kiss. After that, she handed the round gift to your brother. No doubt it is a ball. It just bounced when your brother did not catch it. Then, the gift wrapped in a fancy paper was handed to you. It looks like the same as when your mom first brought it under the tree. Not even a hint was showing what was done. You smiled. But you see your brother so excited of what he is receiving despite the obvious fact, you wonder. When your sister took hold of her gift, she is like staring at it too careful to even break the ribbon. You again wonder. But you manage to put a smile. Your dad take the gift he had for your mom and hug her while giving it. Everyone is clueless of what they are receiving. Everyone but you.

"One. Two. Three!" That is how you traditionally open a gift. You stand there more than willing to wait for 3 seconds. Unlike 24 days. You open it. From behind. You are quite used on how to open it. And there, the book. The same book you saw 4 days ago. Nothing changed. It's just different. Everyone is so happy with their gifts. You are happy too. You mean, were happy too. Now, all there is for you, is pretension. That you have done nothing.

(The poem is written by Ruth Senter for Brio Magazine)

You have a gift. Given to you. That you will someday give. Will you give it half open? Or with just a little scratch? With a little tear too little to be noticed? Or just as it is when it was given to you--perfectly? You can see what is inside. And find out what's inside. No harm done. Or at least you can pretend that there is no harm done. But you will wake up one day, and it will only be a thing... a gift no more.